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As the days go by, we keep hearing new takes on toxic masculinity, unhealthy relationships, and the ripple effect of unresolved trauma, but how often do we pause and really take a hard look at why these patterns exist in the first place? We’ve all seen films that focus on the victim, but what about the perpetrator? What about the man whose unchecked emotions and trauma go unexamined until they explode?
This is whereIt Ends with Usshines—a movie that doesn’t just raise the question, “Why did she stay?” but flips it on its head and dares to ask, “Why did he hurt her?”
In his first interview since the controversy involving Blake Lively’s lawsuit, Justin Baldoni opened up about his vision for the film and the deeper purpose behind it. It wasn’t just to highlight the struggles of women in abusive relationships. It wasn’t merely to tell a story of pain and escape. Baldoni’s heart-wrenching, emotional goal was to speak directly to the men in the audience, hoping they’d see themselves in Ryle and confront the trauma they may be carrying.
Reframing the conversation: From “Whydid she stay?” to “Whydid he hurt her?”
During aGents Talkpodcastinterview,Justin Baldonireflected on the emotional experience of the past year. “I had an intense year,”he admitted.“I had anxiety.”His words speak volumes, considering the storm he found himself at the center of just months later, with Blake Livelysuing him for alleged sexualharassment and defamation.
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Despite the legal drama, Baldoni remained steadfast in his mission withIt Ends with Us. He wanted the movie to serve as a mirror—not just for women, but for men too. Instead of demonizing Ryle, his character, as many might expect, Baldoni chose to highlight a deeply flawed man struggling with unresolved trauma and insecurity.
“I wanted men to see themselves in each of the men,”Baldoni explained. He wasn’t trying to make Ryle the villain but rather showing how a man’s unhealed pain can destroy the very thing he cherishes the most.
He hurts her because he never took the time to heal.
He wanted to humanize the character, showing how a good man can make grave mistakes when he lets his inner demons control him. “I wanted men to see what happens when you don’t resolve your trauma,” Baldoni said. Ryle, for all his good intentions, allows his insecurities to take over, and in doing so, causes irreparable harm to the woman who loves him. The devastating consequence? He risks losing everything that matters to him.
Rather than merely creating a film about the victim’s suffering, Baldoni usedIt Ends with Usas a cautionary tale, showing men the dangerous consequences of unresolved trauma.
You know, I haven’t talked about this a lot because I want to be very mindful in the conversation around this movie to not take the emphasis off of what is happening to women at alarming rates—absolutely. And yet I talk a lot about reframing the question from ‘Why did she stay?’ to ‘Why did he hurt her?’ That means that violence against women, as we know, is not a woman’s issue, it’s a man’s issue.
As Baldoni further put it, “Hurt people hurt people,” andIt Ends with Usemphasizes that a cycle of abuse can only be broken when a man takes accountability for his actions and chooses to heal.
Not just a film: A cautionary tale for men to confront their trauma?
According to Justin Baldoni, the only way for men to stop perpetuating this pattern is for women to walk away. He said in the same interview:
The only way for a man generally to stop abusing or to stop hurting a woman is for that woman to leave.
The overarching goal for Baldoni was to spark self-reflection in men who might be silently struggling with their own trauma. He hoped that when men watched Ryle’s journey on screen, they’d empathize with him—not because Ryle was a perfect character, but because they’d see pieces of themselves. He confessed:
Deep down, there was a hope that there’d be a man in the audience who would recognize his behavior, go and get help, and never harm.
Baldoni’s message doesn’t stop at simply showcasing the destructive power of unaddressed trauma. He wanted men to go beyond just feeling sympathy for Ryle. He wanted them to experience the real consequences of their actions. “What’s it like to lose everything?” Baldoni asked.
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He continued,
What’s it like to be a man to hold your daughter who you didn’t know you’d ever have, who you didn’t know you’d ever find love because you don’t feel worthy of love, to finally be holding your daughter while losing her at the same time because of the harm that you inflicted?
The raw emotion in this quote hits like a ton of bricks. It paints a stark picture of the fallout from ignoring one’s emotional baggage. Baldoni wanted men to witness the wreckage left behind when emotional health is left on the backburner, driving home the point that healing is not just important—it’s a lifeline before everything unravels.
It Ends With Usis streaming on Netflix.
Siddhika Prajapati
Senior Journalist & Content Head
Articles Published :3310
With over 3,300 articles carved into the digital walls of FandomWire, Siddhika Prajapati excels at creating, curating, and elevating engaging stories. She takes pride in giving these stories a home and, of course, she’s got a Google Knowledge Panel to prove it!Whether it’s reviewing the latest drop on Netflix, Amazon Prime, or Apple TV+, or analyzing the cultural echoes of a streaming hit on Paramount+ or Max, Siddhika is always writing three steps ahead of the discourse.
